CHQ Fantasy Keeper League

The cast

Meet the Players

Every contender, trade addict, runner-up, and commissioner who makes the league what it is.

The Pick Hoarder

Brett D

ExperienceRookie-ish

Career EarningsAsk him about next year’s picks

The youngest and least experienced member of the league, Brett is still waiting for his fantasy football breakthrough—and preferably before someone makes him do a humiliating league punishment. A former Air Force man who spent a couple years overseas, he has displayed tremendous courage in his career… just not when it comes to setting a competitive fantasy lineup. Brett has never really come close to winning, but he has mastered one skill: selling his team for future draft picks. At this point, he may have more future picks than actual confidence in his current roster.

The Rochester Contender

Chris M

ExperienceVeteran

Career EarningsRespectable

Located way out in the Rochester wilderness, Chris is one of the league's more reliable contenders. He'll make a trade when the right opportunity comes along, but for the most part, he falls in love with the team he drafts and refuses to let his players go. A former league champion, Chris has proven he can get the job done and is usually somewhere in the mix when the money is on the line. When he's not managing his roster, he's probably on a golf course wondering why his fantasy team isn't performing as well as his golf game.

The Electric Champion

Dan E

ExperienceFinally Relevant

Career EarningsRecently upgraded

After years of fantasy mediocrity, Dan finally got the monkey off his back and captured his first league championship. And he didn't do it quietly—he leveraged extra draft picks, made the necessary moves, and even sacrificed some future draft capital to keep his championship roster loaded. As an electrician, Dan knows how to get things wired correctly, although nobody is quite sure how long it took him to figure out fantasy football. He claims he doesn't really care about fantasy, which is especially impressive considering how much effort he puts into it. A devoted Chicago Bears fan who loves his mom Patty, Dan now has one championship and approximately zero excuses.

The Silent Assassin

Dillon M

ExperienceQuiet Veteran

Career EarningsChampionship Secured

Dillon is the definition of a silent assassin. A loving father and one of the quieter members of the league, Dillon doesn't waste time with unnecessary trash talk, group chats, or letting people know what he's doing. In fact, he barely talks to anyone in the league at all. But make no mistake—he's paying attention. While everyone else is arguing trades and making noise, Dillon is lurking on the waiver wire, quietly improving his roster and waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. His championship run was classic Dillon: dominate the league, collect the trophy, and then say about three words before disappearing again. The only member of the league who wasn't there from the very beginning (missing just one season), Dillon has quickly made his mark.

The Cali Redneck

Dusty D

ExperienceVeteran

Career EarningsCalifornia, apparently

Dusty loves reminding everyone that he escaped New York and now lives the California lifestyle. Sunshine, palm trees, good vibes… and the same redneck tendencies he's always had. Dusty doesn't make many trades unless he's absolutely convinced he's fleecing the other owner, making him one of the league's toughest negotiators. He's also a pretty boy who isn't afraid to admire his own reflection. He may live in California now, but deep down, he's still just a New York redneck with better weather and a higher opinion of himself.

The Fantasy Addict

Jason B

ExperienceVeteran

Career EarningsUsually in the money

Jason doesn't just play fantasy football—Jason lives fantasy football. He is constantly wheeling, dealing, trading players, trading picks, rebuilding, contending, and generally finding a way to make the league more complicated than it needs to be. One year he's going all-in; the next he's selling his entire roster for future draft capital. Despite never winning the league, Jason is almost always lurking around the money. When he's not obsessing over fantasy, he’s convincing himself that this is finally the year for the Tennessee Titans.

The Vibes Guy

Jason H

ExperienceQuestionable

Career EarningsHere for the experience

A die-hard Yankees and Buffalo Bills fan, Jason brings plenty of sports passion to the league—just not necessarily fantasy success. Married to the commissioner's sister and working alongside his wife, Jason has managed to secure a permanent place in the league through connections alone. He's rarely a serious threat to win the championship, but that's okay. Every league needs a guy who's there for the vibes, and Jason has embraced that role. He's not here to dominate. He's here to hang out, talk some shit, and occasionally check his lineup.

The Dynasty

Mark Ma

ExperienceAncient

Career EarningsLEAGUE LEADER

Mark came out of the gates like a man possessed, winning the league's first two championships and apparently deciding that was enough work for one lifetime. A grizzled retired Army veteran, Mark has earned more money than anyone else in league history and is absolutely going to remind you about it. Those first two championships have become his fantasy football birthright, and he has been living off that glory ever since. These days, he supervises an IT helpdesk, where he presumably spends his time reminding younger employees that things were better back when he was winning fantasy championships.

The Elder Statesman

Mark Me

ExperienceA LOT

Career EarningsStill counting

The oldest member of the league by a considerable margin, Mark Me brings decades of life experience and an impressive willingness to keep trading with a bunch of people young enough to be his fantasy football grandchildren. A retired firefighter and husband of the commissioner's mom, Mark has plenty of connections to keep him entrenched in the league. He's somehow juggling this league along with what feels like approximately 47 other fantasy leagues, yet still finds time to wheel and deal. He may not be the youngest owner, but he's still showing up and making moves.

The Almost Champion

Mick

ExperienceVeteran

Career EarningsThe runner-up specialist

Nobody has mastered the art of finishing second quite like Mick. He's reached the championship game three separate times and somehow managed to lose every single one. At this point, 'almost' might as well be his middle name. He's a die-hard Yankees and Bills fan, which is fitting considering his fantasy career has adopted the same general philosophy: always competitive, never quite there when it matters most. Mick also appears to have a contractual obligation to draft Buffalo Bills players, regardless of whether they're actually good fantasy options.

The Nostalgia King

Nick N

ExperienceVeteran

Career EarningsTop-3 Finishes: 3

An IT guy with a severe case of 1990s nostalgia, Nick would probably abandon modern technology altogether if someone offered him a VHS copy of a Ninja Turtles movie and a WWF Attitude Era pay-per-view. His fantasy résumé, however, is considerably more modern: Nick is tied for the league lead with three top-three finishes, including a championship. He may spend his free time reminiscing about the glory days of the '90s, but when it comes to fantasy football, he's proven that he's still one of the league's most consistently successful owners.

The Stat Nerd

Tylor C

ExperienceCommissioner

Career EarningsPainfully low

As commissioner, Tylor does all the work, keeps the league running, handles the rules, manages the finances, and generally makes sure everyone else can enjoy fantasy football—all for absolutely nothing. Unfortunately, that organizational ability has not translated into fantasy success. Despite being a self-proclaimed stats nerd who spends an unhealthy amount of time analyzing numbers, trends, matchups, and meaningless data points, Tylor has shockingly little to show for it. He has the second-lowest career winnings in the league, tied with a guy who literally quit after one season. A proud 49ers fan, Tylor remains convinced that this is finally the year he puts it all together. It won't be. But he'll have a spreadsheet explaining why it should have happened.